How to stop feeling lonely

I spent a lot of my early 20s feeling lonely. I didn’t want to feel lonely, but I often had trouble feeling like myself around others.

I’m not lonely anymore and this is why:

1. Listen to what your body has to say

A big part of my loneliness was I refused to accept that I am actually a pretty introverted, non-verbal person. Ideas that are meaningful seem to come from my body, not my mind. They begin as feelings, not words.

In conversations with others I started to ask myself, “How do I really feel in my body right now?” I would wait for the response, let the feeling come into words, then share those ideas in the conversation. In this way I started to feel a lot more present in my interactions with others. Eventually this became second nature.

In order to hear your feelings, you have to give them time to surface – they cannot be rushed.

When you share what’s meaningful to you, others will find you more interesting, and they’ll feel invited to share too.

2. Find people who give you time to speak

New ideas that have yet to find words are delicate. If the person you’re talking to is quick to jump in at every lull, it’s impossible to give yourself time to verbalize your ideas. There are lots of people who can sense this process at work. They are able to read your body language and give you the moments you need to find what you have to say. Make friends with these people. They will appreciate you being able to offer the same to them.

3. Be around people who know you every day

Get into a daily rhythm of being around people who know and care about you. They might be friends, roommates, classmates, or coworkers.

If you have a job, don’t just isolate yourself in your tasks. Find bits of time to chat about non-work stuff with coworkers and let yourself be authentic.

4. Share your secrets with the right person

If you have secrets and no one to talk with about them, it’s easy to feel ashamed and alone. Maybe it’s an insecurity you have or something that happened in the past. Find someone who will be able to listen to you and accept you with your secrets. Make this person a part of your life – you’ll feel a world of difference.

Sometimes there’s no way to escape feeling lonely. As painful as it is, accept that you feel lonely, don’t be ashamed of it, and have faith that time will make things change

source: http://wtsui.org/blog/how-to-stop-feeling-lonely/